Genes

Lasers.  Visuals.  Elephants.  Inmates.

I’ve announced the thirty-third annual "Potential Architect[ure]" Symposium, where I’ll be moderating again — for the third year in a row.  I’m so sick of this damn Symposium.  We’ve invited all the same blow-hards:  Stanley Danks, Uve
Schanksvort, Hank Smith, etc. 

Honestly, Hank could kiss my ass, Uve hasn’t done anything in the last three years and Stan, frankly, needs to grow up.  Lately I’ve been working on various $100,000 jobs and the committee to reelect the Nick is suckling at the Pisca-teet.  This symposium is as bad as when I met with Abermoff and the paparazzi caught us making out.  Why did he have to whisper?  Why did he bring those toys?  Why is he so clean shaven?

Mr. O’Reilly is against the choking game.  This is devastating!  I invest 10,000 dollars in rubber tubing and now Fox News is opposed to the barbaric practice. 

I guess these all could be converted to make obscene swimwear–spring time is on the way…  But Curious George can smoke a damn pipe!  When the cancer is malignant, I’ll tell the doc,  "I started cuz CG did it." 

Notwithstanding the state of radical atheism in the world, I foolishly misinterpreted the potential scope of my usually hilarious cartoons.  Last September, I published a series of works on religion and one mocked the atheistic God, ‘nothing.’ 

Little did I know it would explode into massive riots in Hudson Bay, The Banana Republic and my own bedroom.  I was forced to resign as president of my newsletter, but I maintain a chair on the board (this may not last, and my sex life is dramatically diminished). 

I you have a strong stomach and no conscience, I have posted the offending comic on my site: the offending comic